Posted in March 2002

Mistaken notions

In the 1950s, there was a 5- or 6-year-old kid who used to steal cigarettes from his dad’s work shirt for his older brothers. In exchange, they would have to give him a couple of puffs to keep him from telling on them.

When he was about 7 or 8 years old, he was able to talk his dad into giving him sips of his beer.

In 1960, when he was 13 years old, his mom took him to the doctor to get something for his shaking hands. The doctor gave him a prescription, which didn’t help, so the doctor suggested a psychiatrist, which his mom refused.

In the 1960s, older kids on the school bus tried to whack the shaking out of him. So if smoking, drinking and using drugs makes a man out of you, why wasn’t I grown up at 5, 6 or 13 years old?

And why are even girls doing it today?

I think the only reason kids and adults smoke, drink and use drugs today is because they are stupid or have inherited social dysfunctions.

Danny W. Shultz
East Brady

THAT jar of GUNK from that dumpsite doesn’t look or stink as bad as you or the polluted booze DRUGS you all like to drink.

The BUG against drugs that smell & look like you. Danny W. Shultz.

FLASH! 14 percent county sales tax proposed to replace property taxes. You’ve got a head full of chiggers, lice, worms, or worse, fruit flies.

The ??? BUG Danny W. Shultz

DOPES! Spider & cock roach junkies who have become rusted old scrap at the top of the drunken old stink em up pile say their drugs should be legalized & taxed like your booze drugs.

The BUG against making stinking choices Danny W. Shultz

ANYONE who is STUPID enough to drive to Ohio to save $2 on their stink drug alcohol because of the 18 percent liquor DRUG TAX should go to some other state or world anyway.

the BUG of choice Danny W. Shultz

YOU don’t really want a smelly micro*cepha*sleezing brewery in your town.
the midden S*tank*fests in Oktober already smells!!!

The golden elf BUG Danny W. Shultz

FRIENDS don’t allow friends to drive drunk!!! So you cretin coxcombs don’t have one.

The creeping leprechaun BUG Danny W. Shultz

Archives