Filed under Classifieds

DEAR: Watermelon,
Would your like to raise your seeds in a state like Utah where crud is illegal
or Nevada where most crud is legal?

Danny W. Shultz, E.W.

DANNY W. SHULTZ The BUG Makes faces at drunk drivers, spits green slime on their windshields, & makes them mess their pants at sobriety check points.

Yes, it’s incredible BUG!!!

HUM! Dearest: Little Emerald lace wing.
They misspelled Barf Garden on your daddy’s T-shirt again. It is spelled with an **arf** after the letter (B) not an **eer**!
I will bring a bucket of paint & a paint brush to the roller skating rink next week & we will fix it for him.
Okay, little lassie?

Your humblest Bug Danny W. Shultz

HUM! The new liquor labeling will require a picture of gummy legged enuresis daddies with loused, fruit flied, & wormied puke faces.

The Humming Leprechaun Bug Danny W. Shultz

HUM *pitty* dumb*itty!
Another Booze study promoting booze. Does your TV news station ever get sick of itself?
It’s like when you were losing cigarette advertising on TV in the 1960’s. Hump*itty *dump!

The Hummer Bug Danny W. Shultz

HUM! Why have you scientific slobber worms done so many Booze studies in the last 5 years that say the same thing over & over?
Live forever.
Do beer & wine companies give you more money than fish, aspirin, & tea companies.
Hummy*Dummy

The Hum*Bug Danny W. Shultz

OH, hummm! Beer & Wine are the boring drugs of choice of TV news tapeworms & fat nosed nightcrawlers with Gubby unflushed potty worms for brains. Dummb*bummbs!

The Hum Bug Danny W. Shultz

PA*rump*a*pum*pum!
If you have a 10% alcohol tax in your city don’t you think that will make all your drunks go outside the city to get drunk?
Do you think that is what decent Butterflies & June bugs would really want?? Pum*Pum; Pum*pum*pum!

Danny W. Shultz The Tanksgiving Chrysalis

DUT*ta*daa! Birds do it. Bees do it.
Now giant aluminum winged bugs are doing it.

Blue ice splitter, splatters in pudgie grubs scotch.

Dwatt BUG Danny W. Shultz

EYE*nngh! A Supreme S.A.D.D. & M.A.D.D. being didn’t make merry*Ig*wanna or alcohol.
Worms decided to smoke & drink ontoxicating rotted vegetable matter. Ewe*nngh You Again!

Danny W. Shultz-The BUG

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